Heart Of Swords
by SonyaShulen
Summary: Blood is my form of water. She tried to get rid of this bloodthirsty fiend but I just couldn't let her see that monster that live in me. I ache to see blood but everytime she's around, I can't seem to find the might to kill. She's my Sun but I gave up.


Disclaimer : How I wish I do own GA, but...  
Author : SonyaShulen  
Title : **Heart Of Swords**

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It was a norm for me to have missions every day. I was pretty much used to it – in fact, missions itself are a _part_ of me. I was given rather tedious missions for the past few years and I had never felt any tinge of guilt towards myself.

_Blood_ was my type of water. Guilty feelings of killing had long left me since I left the girl I loved which is now probably dead after the break up.

Maybe _dead_ would be the wrong word. _Disappeared_; yes – she disappeared. She was begging me not to leave her the day I told her I gave up on her. I heard from her friends that she tried to slice her veins and even climbed up a fifty storey building and attempted to jump down – but at that time, I _did not care_.

Astonishingly enough, I felt a pang of hurt in my chest the moment I think of her. Her presence still affects me, it seems.

I dragged my feet towards my dear _sensei_, to get my new mission. I turned the door knob and entered the room but it seems that he was nowhere in sight. I walked towards the only couch in the room and sat in a comfortable position and closed my eyes.

I felt a whiff of cold air around me. I opened my eyes slowly and saw myself in the midst of darkness. Somewhere not far from me, was a person with a mask covering his or her face. That figure walked closer to me and I got myself into an attacking stance but the moment I moved my legs, I felt a strong force placed on it and a loud CRACK was heard!

I snapped my eyes open from that horrible dream and I was sweating profusely. That dream was freaking disturbing. I took a peek at my legs and saw that it was still there. Yes – I even tried to move it a little but everything was fine.

I heard footsteps coming nearer and nearer the room I was in and I quickly arranged my posture. Persona – my _sensei_, came in and sat on the couch beside me.

"Your mission today would be a five-star," he said and handed me a small slip of paper.

I took the paper and continued to stare at him. Having a five-star mission was rather rare. It usually meant that my life would be on the line. A fifty by fifty chance of surviving – but depending on my past missions which were deadly, I survived them all.

"That's rare," I told him. Persona just sat there and adjusted his mask while I opened the slip of paper.

_Time : 1.05am  
Venue : Warehouse Number 5  
Target : A well-trained assassin which wears a mask._

I snickered – an assassin, huh? Whoever that person is probably lived the same way as I did. I curved my lips into a smirk – "I'll do a clean job," I told him coolly and Persona gave me a nod.

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I made my way to the warehouse at one in the morning and I didn't see anyone suspicious or deadly. My instincts are fast and I could hear even the lightest tap of a foot. I leaned my back against a nearby wall and waited.

One thing about me is - I should never let my guard down. Everything happened scarcely fast and in an instance, the assassin had gotten me cornered. Although this person caught me off guard, I _am_ still lithe. I jumped high up and got my hands into position. This assassin wore a mask over the face and seem to keep a very low identity. This unmasked person, is the exact same figure I saw in that nightmare of mine.

I landed onto a bright spot. Everywhere else was dark – pitch black. I hated fighting in the dark; my vision isn't clear enough.

"Coward, aren't you?" I yelled out loud hoping that my phrase would insult the person and to my own surprise, he did. The assassin came out from the darkness and held something which looked like a pocket knife and aimed it towards my face. I moved my figure quickly to the side and the knife just passed me as swiftly as the wind. I now understood exactly why they call this person '_well-trained_'.

Everything moved fast and I have to admit that this person really is one professional. The assassin came closer to me and aimed his elbow towards my stomach and at that exact moment, a whiff of strawberry scent hit right into my face. The same _scent_ –

"_I don't care on what you do. I mean, everybody has a background good or bad. It doesn't matter. I love you and it's not like you can change that in my head," she gave me the smile and that was the first day, I knew how to blush._

"_Your point?" I challenged and her face brightened._

"_A chance, please?" she asked. I didn't respond to her and she came to give me a comfortable hug. I circled my arms around her waist and placed my head onto her shoulder._

"_Perhaps, you can change me," I whispered and I kissed her neck there._

With my memories bothering me at this part of the time, it was a real disadvantage! The assassin hit me really hard on my stomach and I was sent flying back and hit my back towards a wall. That heck was going to leave a bruise! I held my stomach as I slowly stood up. No way am I going to lose to this _amateur_.

I was angry and this time I got my weapon flying towards the assassin's head. He was unaware of the knife and it successfully cut through a scarf-looking hood that the person's wearing. A wave of hair came out of that hood and my eyes widened at the colour of it. Brunette – she's a girl, and she's – NO! It can't be her; she doesn't kill!

I heard a soft gasp from the assassin and I swear it's a _girl_. This time, I'm aiming for her mask. I have to get that stupid mask off of her somehow. I took a jump at her and she was fast enough to escape the attack. She kept backing away and I kept tailing and chasing after her.

"I want to know who you are! Unmask yourself!" I yelled in angst. She continued running and I couldn't help but remember. I grabbed her arm and made her masked face to meet mine. I reached out for her mask but her hand quickly slapped mine away and that itself sent back a string of memory.

"_I wonder whether I managed to change you, even a little," she said and I snickered._

_I chuckled at her remark and said "What you do you think?"_

"_I don't know. You don't seem to be going for your deadly missions that frequent any longer," she stated. That was the truth – after meeting her, I just couldn't kill. It's as though, her innocence's overpowering me and I just couldn't kill._

"_I couldn't kill – with you with me," I said and hung my head over hers._

_"I'm happy that I have a big effect on you," she said and I gave her a short kiss on her lips.  
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I ache to get rid of that mask. I wanted to see the person behind it. "Stop being a coward and show me your true face!" I said out loud and she stopped her movements and looked at me with that mask of hers still on.

She lifted up her hand and wrote some stuff on nothing. I read slowly on what she wrote on air – 'YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO KNOW' she wrote and I swear I could see her smiling behind that mask. I didn't want to believe that it's _her_ that's doing this – she's pure and innocent and she never kills. She's the reason why I got rid this bloodthirsty fiend of me whenever I'm with her.

I was dreaming away again and I felt a pain on the right side of my shoulder. She had a knife pierced through my shoulder. My eyes widened to the pain and she pressed the knife deeper into my shoulder and I started coughing out blood. I put my hand over hers and drastically pulled her hand away with the knife out of my shoulder.

It was bleeding badly and I started panting. It fucking hurt and I could see her forming a malicious grin. If I call myself a bloodthirsty fiend, this person here is a bloodthirsty beast! Definitely something worse compared to what I find myself!

"You coward," I sneered out and she came running to me again. By her overall appearance, I could make up that I barely even hurt her. I was the one bleeding and getting scathed at every part of my body. Persona wouldn't like it if I fail on this mission – but I just can't kill her because something tells me that it is _her_ under that mask and I can't kill her because…

"_It's no use. Erasing the feeling of killing is impossible. Killing is a part of me," I told her._

_Her usual cool had vanished from her face and this time, it was replaced with agony and hurt. "Don't tell me," she started and I cut her off._

"_Yes. We're no match. I love killing and your presence is bothering me. With you with me, I can't kill and I itch to see the blood of someone flowing out from their cuts of slices. Blood is MY water" I told her and she placed her hands over her mouth and gasped out loud.  
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"_Don't. Don't please," she begged and I could see tears urging to stream down her face. "You said that if I could change you-"_

"_You couldn't! You failed doing so – so just leave me. You're pretty clingy aren't you?" I said and turned - my back facing her._

She gave me a thorough kick in the face and I was swung into a bundle of wooden crates. My back hurts – my body relishing with pain. But this hurt I was getting was no match compared to the pain I felt when I knew I lost her forever.

I sucked up my baby attitudes and charged towards this _assassin_. I took out another knife from my pocket – something I would use when it came to an emergency. I put all my force into the knife and when I reached her face, I positioned my knife upright and cut through her mask into half.

She fell on her back hard on the ground. She fell with a loud thud on the ground and I walked towards her figure. I looked at her form – her eyes closed. She had probably fainted due to the concussion. I wanted to hug her badly. It was painful to see that she had taken the side to fight me. She was never the one that _kills_. She was Mikan. She was supposed to be _loved_.

"I'm sorry… "I said and left her body there as I quickly ran from that scene. I didn't want to return to Persona – I wanted to be free. I looked back at where her body lay and something wet escaped my eyes. Tears, huh? I never knew I could cry. This is indeed – something entirely different that I'm facing.

This is the fate that two people have to face when they fall in love with a murderer and when the murderer feels the same. Ironic isn't it? But that's _fate_. It's like a play.

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Omnomnom...so sorry for not updating 20TIDBID but I just finished my first term exam and I've just started writing again. This is so compensate my absence for so long!


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